Returning to school has been challenging for many of our students and staff. There are more regulations and guidance to follow, less opportunities to move freely around school or to express ourselves through co-curricular activities. However, in all of this, there are opportunities for us to learn new skills, to focus on ways in which we can support each other as we continue to build a community centred on kindness and respect. This message was at the centre my assembly, when I introduced the students to a coaching exercise, which focuses on active listening as a tool to help develop emotional intelligence.    

In our busy worlds of multi-media messages and constant news, it is all too easy to engage in half listening. Our minds and thoughts wander as we engage in a conversation; we do not do this consciously, but it is often a reflection of the pace at which we find ourselves managing our lives. It can be hard to focus on just one task. Taking time to take notice, listen and ask questions is a powerful tool in building a connection; demonstrating to someone you really care and allowing another that person the space to reflect and express themselves honestly. Active listening is an important part of building emotional intelligence, helping us develop capacity to recognise our own feeling and those of others. This is key skill, and at a time when we face so much uncertainty, it is important that we all take the time to listen to each other, with purpose and intent.

I asked the students to work in pairs, one taking on the role of the listener and one the speaker. I asked them to follow a simple process. Firstly, they asked their partner to think of a situation they would like to change; the listener then summarised back what they thought they have heard, the speaker then gave the listener feedback, thus helping them understand how much they really engaged and helping the speaker clarify their thoughts by reflecting on whether they communicated them effectively. The listener then asked three simple questions, Tell me two things about the issue/situation? Tell me two consequences? Tell me two things you could do about it? I reminded them not to add any additional comments to the question. Just to listen. I hoped through the process they started to understand that you don’t always have to the right answer. You don’t always need to provide a solution or counter balance a response, just through by fully engaging in listening you can provide the support and understanding that friends and classmates need to help clarify thought, express emotion and start to take self-reflective responsibility. 

I will encourage our community to continue to use this technique, both in and outside of the classroom.  In the current world, we are full of unanswered questions, and sometimes just being given the opportunity to voice those concerns in a non-judgemental space, is all that is needed to remind us that we are part of supportive community who will work through this time together.